Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Good morning, friends.  I promised a little more detail on why we decided that we would not continue with our adoption of "Spencer." Well, better late than never.   I guess our hesitation all started a few months ago when I became very unexpectedly pregnant. A few weeks later, we found out it was a miscarriage. 3 weeks after that, I had a very scary, traumatic trip to the emergency room.  All is well now, but these events left me physically and emotionally drained.  I guess they took the steam out of us.  This was one factor in our decision.

The other, and really more important one, is the needs of our current children, particularly our 2 little ones.  Vika, who came to us through adoption last year, is doing very well. Yes, there are areas where we are all still adjusting since she came. We are still learning the best ways of parenting her. She still gets overwhelmed by too much commotion. We are trying to teach her more appropriate ways to ask for what she wants/needs. But overall, she has done very well.

It is our youngest bio child who is causing us the most concern right now.  She has some needs/behaviors that consume most of my energy daily.  If you know us or have followed this blog at all, you are probably aware of what those are.  We are exploring the best ways of helping her. But honestly, she is the child that causes me to feel like I'm a new parent. Like I don't know anything about raising children. She is a mystery child to me in many ways.

The decision that we made to not go forward with the adoption was exceedingly difficult. What would happen to Spencer?  It took us a while before we had the courage to make that call. To back out because it really seemed best for our family.

But we did.  And here's the good part. The very same day we notified RR of our decision, another family had already stepped forward to adopt him!! Did that make our decision easier, oh yeah! Spencer will have a beautiful family that has loved him for a long time.  And it really did confirm to us that we had done the right thing, for him and for us.

So this story really does have a happy ending. Spencer will have a family. And our family, well, we will be busy with the 4 blessings we already have.  We are looking forward to doing some things that we've put off for a few years.  With saving for adoption, the almost 2 years our last adoption took, paper-chasing, etc.  our lives have kind of revolved around adoption for the past 3 years. We've put off doing lots of things with the kids because we didn't want to spend the money or couldn't take the time.  So, we're going to try to kick up our heels a little bit, maybe get some things done around the house.  God led us to Vika and has really blessed us with her. We are looking forward to what He has in store for us next! 

1 comment:

Colleen N said...

*HUGS* What are rollercoaster! I'm so glad you did what was best for your family, and so sorry for your loss! Spencer is one blessed boy to have so many who love him, and he'll be less than 2 hours from me too!

Praying for healing hearts and you being able to settle in and just enjoy your four blessings that are home!!